Siva
by Writer Saa
Summary: He is both the destroyer and the restorer, the great ascetic and the symbol of sensuality, the benevolent herdsman of souls and the wrathful avenger. Slash.
1. Duty

Siva  
  
Introduction (Entitled "Duty")  
  
_______________________  
  
Squall Leonhart  
  
LionHeart12  
  
Password ******  
  
Entry No. 1  
  
February 12  
  
Why is it that we do what we do?  
  
You see, there is always a question of intent. For every action, there is an explanation. For each person, there is a purpose. For everything there is, there is a reason.  
  
In no simple way can I tell you the why of my actions. I can only tell you the story. Perhaps then, you will understand.  
  
The war was over. Sorceress Ultimecia had been defeated. We were heros.  
  
There was a broadcast from Dollet, announcing the sucess of "Squall the Lionhearted" and his companions; the two blondes, the sharpshooter, the girl in the yellow jumper, and the Sorceress Heartilly.   
  
We had done the unthinkable. We had compressed time, with the help of Ellone, and gone to the future to stop Ulitmecia.   
  
In short, we were saviors of the world. Heros.  
  
With sucess, came duty. Responsibility. Headmaster Cid retired only two short years after the war, leaving me in his place.   
  
I raised Quistis to the meaningless but respected position of Commander, and she thrived in the seat of power, acting more as Headmaster than I.   
  
Selphie was put in charge of GARDEN activities, and promptly began a tradition of holiday festivals and parties at Balamb. Trabia and Galbadia quickly followed suit. It only proved that our facility had become the "standard" for military training.  
  
I offered Irvine a seat on our council of nine, but he politely (but firmly) refused. Zell also declined the offer of a position of Councilor, and both he and Irvine became some of our finest mercinaries and top instructors.   
  
Selphie no longer took missions. She claimed that she had killed enough for a lifetime. It was fine with me, because, though she was one of our strongest fighters, she had always seemed too innocent for the life of a cold-blooded killer.   
  
Though we were in our GARDEN's seats of power, Quistis and I continued to go on missions when our administrative duty was lenient, or when a group of the highest skill or extreme political aptitude was necessary.   
  
The Soceress Heartilly remained with us, protected from those who would aspire to harm her. "Cloistered," her father said, "in a facility that will not attend her needs properly."  
  
After four years "cloistered" in GARDEN, she seemed to finally agree with him. Rinoa disappeared on June 16th, the fifth year after Ultimecia was defeated.   
  
There was a long stretch of time after that rather turbulent period in which little happened. Life was, in fact, peaceful, or as peaceful as a mercinary's life can possibly get. I was not unhappy, at least, but nor was I content. I suppose I was simply . . . resting.  
  
End  
  
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	2. No More Than A Promise, Nonetheless A Be...

(Disclaimer : I make no claim on the characters - storyline is original, to my knowledge)  
  
(Note : I do assume that Laguna is more mature, being older. Any mischaracterization is necessary for the story and my own personal impression of the character in this story. Note, that though this is in the "FFVIII universe" it is my interpretation of events after the war. And no, I have not finished the game yet. Whatever.)  
  
Siva  
  
Chapter No. 1 (Entitled "No More Than A Promise, Nonetheless A Beginning")  
  
_______________________  
  
Squall Leonhart  
  
LionHeart12  
  
Password ******  
  
Entry No. 2  
  
February 13  
  
It had been seven years since the end of the war, five years since I had become Headmaster, and two years since Rinoa had left us. I was twenty-five years old.   
  
It all began with the return of an old . . . friend.  
  
"Cara?" Selphie's bewildered voice rang out through the boardroom. It was during a Council meeting, in which we were discussing the propriety of a holiday marking the official end of the first Sorceress War, that Carishta Alistair arrived in Balamb GARDEN, bringing with her news of Esthar.  
  
Carishta nodded, acknowledging Selphie. They'd been friends in Trabia, but after the missile attack on their GARDEN, Cara had gone to Esthar to work as President Liore's personal secretary.   
  
"Headmaster Leonhart, there is a situation in Esthar. We would like to officially request your assistance." She spoke formally, as she always did in the prescence of others, but we had known one another long enough to dispense of titles while in privact. She came whenever President Liore was in dire trouble and needed our help. It was indeed often that we were graced by her presence. Still, a formally written request should have arrived before she came into personal contact with us.  
  
"Quistis. Please arrange a dispach of five SeeDs to Esthar by tomorrow. They will accompany Ms. Alistair."  
  
There was a strict no-questions policy when it came to Carishta's visits. She represented the President himself, and though I did not know him personally, it was good politics to keep the president of the most powerful nation on Hyne's planet content. Doubtless, I assumed, he would cause havoc if forced to come to Balamb himself. I'd heard that Laguna Liore was a nice guy, but bloody crazy if nothing more.  
  
The heavily robed woman cleared her throat and spoke before I could dismiss her.  
  
"With all due respect, Sir Leonhart, the President has requested that you come. Personally. And he has also mentioned that you should bring an escort befitting your station, but not in excess. The situation does not involve combat situations of any kind." She bowed slightly, backing out of the room.  
  
Two days later I was on a train headed for Esthar with Irvine and Cara. We spent the ride talking about things of little consequence, and Cara was slightly colder towards me than she usually was. I could tell that she was hiding something from me; I just could not define what it was.  
  
I met the President Liore that evening. We had dinner together; salmon with capers, roasted potatos, and spinach salad, heavy on the vinegar. I picked at my food that night. Tension was permeating the air.  
  
"Squall," The President began, "If I may call you that." He looked uncomfortable.  
  
I gave him an almost imperceptible nod.  
  
"I have some documents that you may find. . . enlightening."  
  
I took the sheaf of papers from President Liore, scanning them briefly. In short, they said that they had found conclusive genetic evidence of my . . . father.   
  
"You've found my father? Why?"  
  
"I'm surprised. You do not ask if your father is here, or even who he is. You ask me why I found him." The President chuckled slightly. "Well, I suppose that's to be expected. Let's say that I had a personal interest in your parents. Please, read on."  
  
I continued, finding the page detailing the key links in the genetic composition of myself and . . . Laguna Liore.   
  
"You. . . You're my father?" I wasn't happy. Nor was I sad. I was feeling cold. Angry. Disappointed, even. "Why. . . why did you wait so long to tell me?"   
  
Understand, though, that I was by this point, incensed. I was twenty-five years old, and I'd long accepted the fact that my parents weren't coming back for me. I did not remember them, nor did I care to. I had been abandoned when I was too young to know who they were. And truthfully, I didn't care.  
  
"I'm sorry, Squall. It's," he paused, grimacing, "a rather long story. Perhaps we should move into the sitting room?"   
  
We did just that, and he began his story.   
  
"I was young. I fell in love with your mother, Raine, and we. . . Well, I had to leave. I went off with Kiros and Ward for nearly a year. When I came back. . . She . . . She was not with us. . . any longer." His glanced toward the fire, but I caught a glimpse of liquid sliding down his cheek. After a few moments, he cleared his throat and resumed. "I'm sorry. I've never . . . talked about it. But. . . I couldn't handle having such a prominent reminder of her. She. . . she named you, Squall. You have her last name, as well. I gave you to Edea when you were still very small. Then. . . I came here. Not one day went by that I didn't think about you, Squall. I wondered where you were, how you were, what you were doing. I came back for you, you know. But you were gone. The entire orphanage was deserted. I. . . I cried for you. I thought that maybe. . . you'de left us, too." His eyes were still misty.   
  
I could hardly believe what he was telling me. It was slightly disturbing, to find a father this late in life. Especially one who seemed to care so much.   
  
"President - "   
  
"Laguna. Call me Laguna. I'd rather you called me dad, but I can't expect that. I understand that you hardly know me."  
  
I nodded slightly. "Laguna, then. Have you told anyone about this?" I waved the papers, and he shook his head slowly. He'd actually told Kiros and Ward, but they were his personal bodyguards, and he had nothing to fear from them. "I'd be more comfortable if you would keep our relationship private. Both you and I are political targets, and we both have enemies. If they knew that you were my father, they might seek to gain from it in one of many unpleasant ways."  
  
Laguna frowned slightly, then nodded. "I guess we should get to bed, then. When will you be leaving?"   
  
"Tomorrow morning, after breakfast. There was a field exam today, and I need to present the new SeeDs tomorrow afternoon." Laguna's frown deepened, and I knew that he had hoped for more time with me.   
  
I stood to leave, and he rose with me.  
  
"Squall. You look. . . so much like your mother." He pulled me into a rib-crushing hug. "I'll never leave you without family again, Squall. I promise. Tomorrow we'll have breakfast with Elle."  
  
He released me, and I blinked slowly up at him. "Elle. . . Ellone is here?"  
  
He grinned, nodding, then ushered me out to my room.  
  
The next morning, I ate with Laguna and Ellone. Kiros and Ward were there, too, but they didn't say much. I found out how Elle and Laguna had been close when she was little, and how her being my "big sis" in the orphanage was closer to the truth than anyone had ever known.   
  
I didn't know Laguna well at all, but with him, I had the beginnings of a family. For the first time in quite a while, at that table with Ellone and Laguna, I felt some small spark of happiness.   
  
  
  
End  
  
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	3. The Destroyer

(Note : "Siva" is NOT a typing error. Look it up.)  
  
Siva  
  
Chapter No. 2 (Entitled "The Destroyer")  
  
_______________________  
  
Squall Leonhart  
  
LionHeart2212  
  
Password ******  
  
Entry No. 3  
  
February 14  
  
I returned to the GARDEN that afternoon to find no less than chaos.  
  
"What's happened?" I snagged a SeeD dashing down the hall. He was panting.  
  
"Headmaster. . . There's been an attack on. . . GARDEN. . . We've been searching for you all day. . ." He was bent over, hands on his knees, breathing hard. I could only stare at him in shock.   
  
"SeeD. . . Khildress. Report to SeeDs Dincht and Kinneas. Tell them to meet me in my office. If you see Instructor Tillmitt or Commander Trepe, please inform them of the meeting as well."  
  
The kid (he couldn have been be older than 16 at the time) frowned up at me. "Don't you. . . Instructor Tillmitt was taken hostage. The Commander called a meeting. They're in the war room now." He flinched slightly, adding the honorary "headmaster" a smudge too late and knowing it. He must have thought that I was going to punish him.  
  
"Dismissed, SeeD Khildress. Report to Kadowaki and have her announce my return."   
  
I hurried to the war room. 'Only gone one day, and everything falls to pieces. Shit.'  
  
"Squall!" Quistis ran down the hall toward me, wearing a black bodysuit and combat boots. She was armed to the teeth. "Hurry up!" She ushered me down the emergency escape in the war room and into a transport.  
  
"Quistis? I thought - " I gave her an admonishing glare. Sure, she did a lot of the 'headmaster' duties, but sending out a team of SeeD without my approval made us both look bad.  
  
"Squall. Shush. It's just me, you, Zell and Irvine. Nobody else knows about the rescue mission. We need to get Selphie out of there pronto. Her condition. . . " A look of dismay came over her face and she mumbled "Shit."  
  
I was confused. I'd just gotten off a long train ride, I hadn't eaten since breakfast and it was almost five in the afternoon, and I hadn't slept for a long time. This was too much to handle.  
  
"Quistis. Explain. Now." I growled at her.   
  
She sighed and looked dully at the wall, beginning in the regular, controlled and utterly dispassionate tone that many SeeDs used while recounting a mission in a report.  
  
"At two hundred hours this morning, Balamb GARDEN security was breached by a group of no less than fifty persons, trained in both combat and infiltration. They did no damage until they were attacked by the patrol SeeDs. They battled their way into the SeeD dormitories and abducted SeeD instructor Selphie Tillmitt, and escaped with her. SeeD Kinneas, SeeD Dincht, and I have been planning a rescue since they escaped. We have co-ordinates. We were awaiting your arrival." She stood tall, eyes fixed on a point above my head.  
  
"And what is Selphie's condition." I asked in a silky voice.  
  
A stain of red spread across Quistis' cheeks. "She's pregnant."  
  
"Oh, shit."  
  
We disembarked for Trabia immediately. We didn't follow the co-ordinates, instead, we went to the source of the problem.  
  
"See, the group is from the Blue Underground. They're a group that does a lot of lifting for hire. We go to their HQ, we get their leaders. We get Selphie." We had blueprints. We had guns. We were not going to fail.   
  
Irvine was a wreck. He was Selphie's finace - and her child's father. I didn't really understand how he felt, but I let Quistis handle him while I briefed Zell. He and I would be covering Irvine and Quistis during the rescue.  
  
"All right. We enter here."  
  
I poked a finger at the basement.  
  
"We go here."  
  
I gestured toward the second-to-top floor.  
  
"This is the route."   
  
I rapidly drew a line through the building, "X"ing out stairwells that we would use.  
  
Zell shifted slightly. I could tell that I was making him uncomfortable. I couldn't help it, though - barely contained rage seethed below my cool demeanor. He could tell.  
  
"All right. The building that they've got her in has a high level of security. Make sure you're equipped.."   
  
Irvine entered at that point, glancing over the plans. "We're here. Ready?" His eyes were red.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
"Wait a sec. Just so you all know - anyone tries to stop us, they die. No mercy. We need to show that you don't mess with SeeD."   
  
They all nodded grimly.  
  
We encountered six guards in the basement. All were quietly dispatched.   
  
It took less than ten minutes to get into the quarters of Blue Undergrounds powerseats, mostly because we were unexpected. We must have killed three or four dozen men to get there, but it was necessary. No one was sounding the alarm.  
  
We found the leaders of BU asleep in their beds. Needless to say, we roused them in a rather unpleasant manner.  
  
"Fuuuuck. Wake up." Harridan stood in his underoos, sweating in the cool night. "Wake the FUCK UP!!" His voice was panicked.   
  
The girl sat up quickly, eyes wide. They were a golden-green than reminded me of a cat. "Harridan? Wha-!!" She was cut of as my blade slid up to her throat. She then noted Irvine's Exeter pointed at Harridan's skull.  
  
To our surprise, she didn't shout, or struggle. She went limp in my arms.  
  
All hell broke loose.  
  
There was a gunshot, and floodlights filled the room with a flourescent glow.  
  
"Very nice, Headmaster Leonhart. Very nice indeed. Clara, if you could please come here." The girl in my arms slipped deftly away as I was frozen in shock. Harridan was dead, but Irvine still had both shots.   
  
Jahane Sheline was what they called "the Boss". She and Harridan were lovers (supposedly) and shared bedchambers. Unfortunately, these. . . suppositions. . . were wrong.   
  
But, then again, Jahane Sheline had done a very, very stupid thing. As Quistis said later, "The Lion was pissed."  
  
See, Jahane was overconfident, and I knew how to deal with that. In my youth, I'd sparred daily with a cocky young man, and beaten him. Half the time. And Jahane was no Seifer Almasy.  
  
In a series of moments, I was behind her, Irvine had his gun at her head, and Quistis had Clara tied to a bedpost and unconsious.  
  
"Hello, Jahane." I smiled slightly, the tip of Lionheart buried in her neck. "Care to tell me where SeeD Tillmitt is? Or will you make me find her myself?"  
  
She sniffed haughtily. "Her? You can have her. She's upstairs. But you won't be able to get her out without me. Let me go."  
  
I nodded at Irvine - he reluctantly lowered his gun, whereas my blade came around her throat.  
  
"Let's go, then." I shoved her toward the door. She led us up into a cell, where Quistis overpowered the two guards and unlocked Selphie's door and helped her out. Irvine took her downstairs, while Quis and I questioned Jahane.  
  
I'll not regale you with the full conversation, but we found thus:  
  
They had been hired by someone with blueprints, passcodes, and some very specific information about Balamb GARDEN, though it was a bit outdated. They didn't know anything about a tripwire in the SeeD dorms, which had been installed only three years before, and had alerted Quistis as soon as their group entered.  
  
They were being paid a hell of a lot of money.   
  
They had not been told to ransom Selphie. They had been told that they could do what they wanted with her. It had been implied that they were to kill her.  
  
The co-ordinates specified a bar in Galbadia. She wasn't sure, but she thought that maybe someone was planning to ambush us when we went to rescue Selphie. This suspicion was confirmed the next day, and we lost two SeeDs to the men waiting in that pub. Unfortunately, all the men participating in the 'ambush' died before telling us who they were working for or anything beyond the fact that they were supposed to kill the scarred kid. Assumingly, me.  
  
Jahane thought that the person may have lived at a GARDEN, once upon a time. She also thought that it was a male, though they'd communicated through electronic messages.   
  
The woman also had some idea about us letting her go after she provided us with the information we wanted. She was sadly mistaken, and when she found this out, she attempted to escape. Unfortunately she "escaped" through Lionheart. Blue Underground dispersed after their charismatic leader was buried. It was a close-casket funeral.  
  
~  
  
There was a search for the person who'd had Selphie abducted done by GARDEN. They found too little evidence to have a suspect, and let it go. I did not.  
  
With the little provided, I was certain that Seifer Almasy was still alive and wanted us dead.  
  
After the war, Seifer had disappeared. We heard from him time and again, a report from someone who thought maybe we were looking for him. I'd heard five years before that he was living in Dollet, but he'd moved around a lot before that. I hadn't the faintest clue as to where he could be, but I was determined to find him.  
  
End  
  
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End file.
